In Richness and in Wealth

Poem broadcast on 30 April 2011 on The World Today on BBC World Service.

Will thee Kate Middleton
take me Will Upperton

in richness and in wealth,

to love and to cherish
though this time around
one knows what this means
and is rather more keen,

to have and to hold
by royal annointment
to enter our fold,
where old money greets new
and asks what do you do?

So will you?

I will.

Will thee Will Upperton
take me Kate Middleton

to be served and obeyed,
from this day upwards
in social mobility,
a vertiginous upgrade
from trade to gentility,

for better for worse
to be honoured and kept
in our holy estate
on our diverse estates
where, upon your advice,
one will learn to shoot grouse
- or should that be grice?

So will you?

I will.

With this ring I thee wed
and I give thee my troth,   
with a nod towards God,
in the presence of fans
and of frills and of froth,
and observed by some great
and some not very good.

With this ring you me wed
forsaking all others
till death us do part,
wield the wand yet again,
and thus to the start
of the Wonderland sequel:
The Wonder Returns.
Let nobody dare
to put this bond asunder.


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